How To Overcome Uncertainty & Trust Your Leadership Ability

In the latest episode of Extra-Ordinary Leaders, I sat down with Dr. Gary Crotaz, executive coach, award-winning author and keynote speaker, and creator of The Unlock Moment.

From being a doctor to a professional dancer, Gary is no stranger to the ups and downs of self-growth and development. We discussed why we shouldn’t be afraid of our own ordinariness, the importance of validating and trusting ourselves, and the dangers of uncertainty.

The full conversation with Gary is available here.

Ordinariness – the foundation of stability

Sometimes, we are all so eager to stand out and be extraordinary that we forget the benefit of ordinariness. 

You may think this contradicts my podcast title, but it doesn’t. The purpose of the Extra-Ordinary Leaders podcast is to find a little extra we can add to our ordinary, not eradicate it altogether. 

Ordinariness is something we all share. It's the foundation of a stable, secure life. I'm not looking to completely replace this with something loud and shiny. I'm looking to find ways we can build on and complement our ordinary, day-to-day responsibilities, habits, and behaviours.

Dr. Gary Crotaz weighed in on this topic with some fascinating insight. As always, I started by asking him what extraordinary leadership meant to him. 

Gary: “I think that extraordinary leadership is finding the extraordinary in yourself to be your own brand of leader. The opening line for a chapter of a book I am in the middle of writing is, ‘We are all extraordinary, but some of us haven't figured out how yet.’”

I love that quote (and I can't wait to read Gary's new book).

Are we all extra-ordinary?

Gary’s definition of extraordinary leadership got me thinking – are ordinariness and extraordinariness constantly warring within every decision we make, like opposing magnets?

Gary: “I don't think they're different. I don't think there's a time to be ordinary and there's a time to be extraordinary. It isn't, 'This is an ordinary task, this is an extraordinary task.’”

This immediately piqued my curiosity.

If this is true, where, then, can we draw the line between ordinary leadership and extraordinary leadership?

The relationship between ordinary and extra-ordinary

It was what Gary went on to explain that really clicked for me – where I had my own unlock moment!

He explained that in his work with Gallup, a performance analysis tool used by businesses, that he came to realise we all have a complex mix of natural talents that make us up. The likelihood of meeting somebody with exactly the same mix of top 5 (out of 34) strengths as us is 1 in 33 million.

So even though we're working off an ordinary foundation (the 34 strengths) we are extraordinary in the way they present (the 1 in 33 million).

Gary: “Extraordinary can be a difficult word because extraordinary feels like maybe it's got to be amazing. For me, extraordinary means unique. And maybe that helps people feel less scared of it.”

The inner wobble

All of us, no matter how senior our position, will have moments of doubt. Perhaps this doubt will become full-fledged imposter syndrome, or maybe we just struggle with comparison (the thief of joy!)

You're not alone. In fact, as Gary points out, in a global ranking of all 34 talents Gallup measures, self-assurance is last on the list.

Gary calls it the “inner wobble” that we all walk through life with. The nagging voice in our head that says, “Did I do that right?” “What if I'm not good enough?”

What can we do about it?

What happens when we can’t trust or validate ourselves?

Gary poses an interesting question: what if we don't have to be validated by other people? What if we can just be ourselves? What if we just have faith that no matter the outcome, we tried our best? What if we trusted and validated ourselves?

Perhaps the biggest obstacle to trusting and validating ourselves is overcoming uncertainty.

Uncertainty feels exposing for everyone. For new leaders lacking guidance, they may feel unsure of their leadership style and unable to picture where they want to be in 20 years. Established leaders might be stuck in old patterns of leadership that are no longer conducive to growth – bad habits that they need to kick.

In both scenarios, there's a tendency to fall into micromanagement, to hold on to the reins a little too tightly, and to fear losing control.

In fact, have you heard of cognitive rigidity? It's defined as the “inability to change behaviours or beliefs”, even when they are ineffective and are preventing us from reaching our goals.

Why do we have this mental inflexibility?

Because we're uncertain. When we can’t validate or trust ourselves enough, we go into defence mode. Often this looks like leaning into pre-established behaviours, habits, and patterns, regardless of whether or not they're best for us.

Overcoming uncertainty

Gary: “Uncertainty is an opportunity. It's not a threat. I would say that, for leaders, when you're sitting in more change than you've ever seen before... how do you turn that into an opportunity? How do you turn that into an incredible culture of innovation?”

On my own personal leadership journey, especially with relation to all that Gary and I have discussed, there's one image that really “unlocked” it for me.

It came from my valued friend – who is also my sister, an experienced mindfulness and movement instructor, and psychotherapist. She invited me to look at the shell of a seed – that hard husk that protects the insides from the outside environment. In order for the seed to germinate, the husk has to soften.

I found this image really profound for my own leadership journey. In times of uncertainty, I have found my own leadership style to become more control-focused, demanding order and precision.

Making a conscious effort to yield a little, to soften, to breathe out may not be easy, but has the potential to unlock in all of us the certainty and self-belief we may have been missing.

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The full conversation with Dr. Gary Crotaz is available here. 

For more information on Steve, head over to LinkedIn, or check out his website and podcast. Gary’s book, The IDEA Mindset: Figure Out What You Want from Work And How To Get It, In 6 Weeks, is available on Amazon. 

Extra-Ordinary Leaders releases new episodes every week. Follow along on LinkedIn to be kept up to date.