How To Nurture A Growth Mindset: Oppositional Vs Integrated Thinking with John Elloway

In the latest episode of Extra-Ordinary Leaders, I sat down with John Elloway, trainer, coach, facilitator, and founder of Limpid Learning. 

We discussed our tendency, especially in the Western world, to be particularly oppositional in our thinking. To what extent is this harming our businesses and our extra-ordinary leadership ability? And how can we move away from a “this-or-that”, “right-or-wrong", “good idea-bad idea” view and into a more integrated, balanced space?

The full conversation is available here.

The pros and cons of oppositional thinking

For many people, viewing the world as black and white (or as close to it as possible), is easier. It simplifies complexities, it leaves less room for disagreement, and it reduces the number of decisions we have to make (it’s either this or that).

The problem, however, is that the world doesn’t fit within such a binary model.

Such thinking – which we can call “oppositional thinking” – does not leave room for the nuance and diversity of life, opinions, and experiences. 

Of course, oppositional thinking is also used to describe the practice of consciously replacing a negative thought with its positive opposite. In this context, however, I am referring to our tendency towards polarised thinking and our lack of openness towards opposing viewpoints: e.g., “I am right therefore this person is wrong.” 

What if there was a middle ground? What if two seemingly opposite things could be true at once? What would be the impact on our ability to be extra-ordinary both with our staff and clients?

The two ways of thinking

To generalise, I’d argue that it is a predominantly Western mindset to have: there’s a right and a wrong; it either is or it isn’t; it’s true, or it’s false.

But John offers that opposites don’t always have nothing to do to each other. The yin-yang symbol is a fantastic visual aid for this: 

Imagine two lines running parallel to one another, one black and one white. This represents oppositional thinking – the two are separate from each other and will never touch. It is either one or the other.

Now imagine the two lines coming together. They curl round each other to form a circle, with a drop of white in the black and a drop of black in the white, to become the yin-yang symbol we all recognise. We might call this integrated thinking, when we know that two truths can exist together. We acknowledge that the world is never at any one time only this or that, but rather a mix of both.

John: “There is one within the other. These things aren’t polar opposites.”

The yin-yang symbol shows us that all things are connected. I termed this “integrated thinking" to denote the possibility that in any given scenario, both (or all) realities might be true – one more so than the other, perhaps, but still with influence from its opposite.

The foundation of balance

My aim is not to demonise oppositional thinking. There are benefits to viewing the world through an objective lens, but it does not serve us well when we’re thinking collectively. It cuts us off from diversity, and consequently from business success, because diversity is more than just a moral obligation now. 

On an evolutionary level, oppositional thinking also cuts us off from connecting with people. When we’re stuck in oppositional mode, anyone who doesn’t fully align with us is “other” rather than being “the same but different”. 

Integrated thinking takes more time and energy than oppositional thinking. We need to be able to pause, reflect, and sometimes override our natural reactions. How, then, can busy leaders make time to prioritise this in themselves and their teams – and why should they?

The harmful nature of oppositional thinking

Oppositional thinking is seen in the way we process information, and then act upon that information. In business, John says, this happens in culture change or strategy. For example, if a business begins rolling out a culture change but the employees perceive their CEOs or MDs to be putting in little to no effort, they’re likely to react with apathy. They become disengaged quickly because they’re thinking oppositionally: it either is or it isn’t, and if it isn’t, why should they do it? 

This can lead to a lack of growth mindset within our teams.

John: “So what happens is that the head of an organisation says, here's the strategy. And here's how we as an organisation are changing. Here are the commitments that we make as a senior leadership team. Here's how the business will be different and here's how we as a board will be different to drive that change. And of course, it doesn't happen straight away. And so what can happen very easily is people can say, 'Oh well, that isn't my experience of it. Therefore, it must not be true.’”

The antidote to oppositional thinking

I have a core belief that leadership starts with yourself, whether you have a leadership title or not. We are the agents of our own lives. How do we want others to perceive us? Rather than having knee-jerk, oppositional reactions, might we consider that things don’t have to be “all or nothing”?

John: “We talk about a lot of these things in leadership but we give them different names. So we might, for instance, talk about ‘growth mindset’ which for me is basically integrated thinking for learning. It's the idea of taking away ‘can’ and ‘can't’ and binary thinking.”

It’s a little like the introvert/extrovert debate – we don’t have to be one or the other, nor do we have to dial one down in order to dial the other up. We can be both but the inflections are different. 

We just need some flexibility in our thinking. 

To embody this, we need to really consider what it feels like to be thinking from an oppositional place versus an integrated one. We might examine our reactions to things and think, “Is this reaction valuable to me or am I just reacting? What viewpoint am I missing? Is there another side to this?”

The question that naturally arises from this is how can we as leaders create a space where people feel encouraged to pause and reflect in this way?

We can:

• Lead by example

• Display a growth mindset

• Practise integrated thinking

For more on this, the full conversation with John is available on all major directories or here.

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For more information on John, head over to LinkedIn.

Extra-Ordinary Leaders releases new episodes every week. Follow along on LinkedIn to be kept up to date or contact me directly at info@dollywaddell.com.