Busyness Is Not A Measure Of Success: How Being More Present Unlocks Growth with Philip Crocker
In the latest episode of Extra-Ordinary Leaders, I sat down with Philip Crocker, serial entrepreneur, executive coach, leadership consultant and host of the Alongsider podcast.
One of the most common issues I tackle with my coaching clients is being too busy and feeling overwhelmed.
Our ego can often want us to be busy, because it can validate feelings of self importance and self purpose. Many of us, especially in the leadership and entrepreneurial space, have a deeply embedded belief system that being busy means we’re performing at our best, being productive and successful. The busier we are, the more validated we might feel in our role. The more we feel able to say “I work really, really hard.”
We might be working hard, but are we working smart?
And if not, what can we do to decrease our busyness and increase our effectiveness? Let’s explore.
Being present in the moment
Philip shared a definition of coaching that I absolutely loved and have never heard before, describing coaching as “dancing in the moment” – or in other words, learning to be present in the moment, but not static.
Being present is difficult, especially for the extroverted, driven personality types so commonly found in leadership roles. Many of these personality types might see being present as going too slow, a waste of time, or even, ironically, something they don’t have time for at all.
I’ve said before that I’m a ‘doer’ and I find slowing down really difficult. But what if it was as simple as constantly reminding ourselves and others to be present in the moment? Saying “let’s just focus on this one thing right now. Let’s just be here right now in this one space.” Like anything, it has to become a conscious habit before it can become an unconscious behaviour.
The biggest benefit of being present
Our ability to build connections is a core facet of what makes us extra-ordinary leaders. Without personal connections with our team members, we risk being a transactional leader, motivating people only through extrinsic pressures.
And the best way to build connections with people?
Being present with them.
Philip: “The only way you can influence someone is to build good quality connections with them. ‘What’s in it for you as much as what’s in it for me and us’, et cetera.”
Following this, Philip shares an interesting metaphor about leadership. Did you know that a miniscule amount of gold is used in mobile phone circuit boards?
Gold is a stable chemical element, which makes it a great conductor of electricity. In much the same way, an extra-ordinary leader (or a ‘gold standard’ leader) is stable – or present – enough to bring people together and ensure that energy is being generated, and everything is flowing smoothly.
Philip: “Leadership is about bringing everyone together and harnessing the gifts, skills and energies. But rather than the traditional ‘let’s get on with it, let’s get it done’, it’s being sensitive to people in the room, and their different needs and strengths.”
This happens most effectively when we allow ourselves to be present in the moment, not constantly jumping from task to task, but taking stock of where we are and who is around us.
Slowing down to speed up
It might sound counterintuitive, but slowing down and being present actually allows us to increase our performance. When we take stock of what is around us, focus on the strengths and needs of our team, and work out the best way to conduct their energies, we’re able to perform more effectively.
Philip: “It’s agility. Finding that place takes time, and you need others to help you find it as well. It’s not an exclusive thing, it’s an inclusive thing… The busy thing is not sustainable because we have to rest. We have to slow down… And that’s true for the entire planet as much as it is for individuals and teams.”
So how then, do we change the unhelpful belief system that tells us our level of busyness is a metric for success?
I’ve distilled the ideas Philip and I discussed into two main points, but the full conversation is available here.
Changing beliefs requires connection and trust
With the right connections and a sense of trust and respect, teams can enter a state of alignment, or ‘flow’, from which change and innovation can occur.
Philip: “Beliefs can be changed… It requires a quality of connection and a place that’s safe and inclusive, where I can be myself and I can explore. Traditionally our organisations are ‘no, you’re doing it like this, you’re meant to behave like this’. And of course there has to be respect, but it’s about accepting that [people] don’t arrive in the same place as the next person.”
An approach like this requires several things:
A transformational-based leadership style, rather than transactional.
Mutual trust and respect amongst team members.
Being present enough to notice the strengths and needs of individuals.
This, Philip says, is extra-ordinary leadership: having the intention to work on the business and not just in the business.
2. Letting go of ‘knowing it all’ allows us to change our beliefs
When we’re in positions of authority, it’s only natural that we feel we must have all the answers at all times – after all, people do look to us for direction.
But we’re human, not AI, and leading in this way is unsustainable. Trying to have all the answers puts us in a state of constantly being ‘switched on’, always needing to do more, more more. This might provide short-term wins and that addictive dopamine rush, but it’s also a fast way to reach burnout and exhaustion.
Often, part of slowing down and being present in the moment is saying to our teams, “you know what? I don’t know. I don’t have all the answers. I know where we want to go – what are your ideas for getting there?”
Of course our job is to lead the way, but accepting and admitting our humanness relieves some of the pressure – almost like taking a big sigh after we’ve been holding our breath for a long time.
It takes conscious awareness
Slowing down and being present allows us deeper connections, which in turn allows us to accept that we don’t know everything – to relieve the pressure that is always pushing us to do more.
But for leaders who are used to the dopamine rush of adrenaline, or who associate their success with how busy they are, changing these patterns won’t happen overnight.
Philip: “This is the thing about belief, it’s about consciousness. We become more aware – and coaching is about helping other people be more aware. We’ve all got blind spots, and that’s why we need each other, and the awareness of each other.”
This reminded me of something Philip had said right at the start of our conversation when I asked him what extra-ordinary leadership meant to him:
Philip: “Extra-ordinary [leaders] have extraordinary awareness of the needs of the other person.”
What measures might you take to force yourself to slow down and build connections with those around you? Might it relieve some of the pressure you’re experiencing to just hold your hands up and say “I don’t have all the answers?”
If you’d benefit from guidance on this contact me at info@dollywaddell.com or find me on LinkedIn.
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The full conversation with Philip Crocker is available here.
To get in touch with Philip, find him on LinkedIn or check out his website.
Extra-Ordinary Leaders releases new episodes every week. Follow along on LinkedIn to be kept up to date.
